Since resigning from “America’s Got Talent,” Nick Cannon has taken his talents to the internet with his new vlog series, which has been receiving mixed reviews and much to people’s delight. However, he takes on an array of topics from Nicki Minaj to Donald Trump. It cannot be denied that Nick is a damn fool, and funny at doing so.
Here are some excerpts from the vlog:
ON RACE: “Shoutout to my Mexicans. Just so y’all know, I can make Mexican jokes ’cause my grandmama’s Mexican. Lo siento, ni**as. That’s why I say, I offend everyone equally. I talk shit about white people, talk shit about Mexicans, talk shit about Asians, talk shit about Eurasians. Yes, I’m talking about all you motherfuckers.”
ON TRUMP: “Fuck Trump and his first address…He was talking a whole bunch of bullshit at his first address. He said he can’t fix every problem. Duh! You ain’t fix one [expletive] problem. You’ve been creating problems. You too worried about making problems and causing problems than [expletive] fixing problems.”
ON INNER-CITY VIOLENCE: “There’s shootings all over the country in disenfranchised places because it’s a systemic problem. Y’all keep us in this place, quarantined, and y’all want us to kill each other. Y’all feeding us poison, all that bullshit. Fuck you, Trump.”
ON SANITY: “People think I’m crazy. They done had reports that I had mental issues. Tell us some shit we don’t know. Ni**a, I was dressing in drag at 17. I’ve been crazy. They called me crazy because I turned down millions and millions and millions…of dollars. I am moving on to bigger and better things like my mixtape. That didn’t really sound like that was better than millions and millions of dollars. Yeah, ni**a, you gon’ have to rethink that. You gon’ leave a No. 1 show on television to promote a mixtape? You is crazy. The mixtape gon’ be fire. Model Music is coming, bitches, and it’s gon’ be hot. It’s gon’ make every woman feel like a supermodel. But you know what, to be brilliant, to be a genius, to change the world, you have to be crazy. You know who else is crazy? Albert Einstein, Buddha? Crazy as hell. Gandhi? Crazy than a motherfucker. Martin Luther King Jr.? Crazy as fuck.”
ON REMY MA: “Remy Ma went crazy. She even put my name in that motherfucker…Remy, that’s the only bar that I think was some bullshit. Because it’s my name, I appreciate the shoutout but you know how many old, street, Facebook rap-ass ni**as done used that bar? ‘Hit Nick with the Cannon. Carey like Mariah. Two twins Cannons.’ I’m the ni**a with the name…Them bars is old…But everything else was hot…Nah, that shit was still hot. ‘Shoot Nick with the Cannon! Yo, Miley, what’s good?’ I should fuck Miley Cyrus. Now, you know Nicki Minaj can’t say shit to Remy Ma. You know why? Remy Ma ain’t got shit to lose. Remy Ma done went to jail for shooting bitches. Remy Ma shot a bitch in the knee. How you shoot a bitch kneecap off? And did nine years for that shit? Remy don’t give a fuck. She ain’t trying to be cute out here. Y’all don’t want it with Remy. And Papoose will come punch your ass over Remy’s shoulder. Remy did ‘Wild N’ Out’ and Papoose was standing there like, ‘I’ll beat any ni**a ass who says shit about Remy. The ‘Wild Style’ battle turned into a compliment battle about Remy. ‘Remy, you’re so beautiful / Thanks for coming on the show / We ain’t gonna say shit to you because Papoose gon’ whoop a ni**a ass for sho!’”