Talk show host Wendy Williams gave a heartfelt tribute to the late Whitney Houston on her show Monday morning, and candidly described her own battles with substance abuse. “I was at home in New Jersey when I heard the news, and I don’t remember much else after that,” Williams revealed. “I know I was not answering phone calls, I wasn’t making phone calls. I turned off the TV. I did not watch the Grammys. I did not watch the Fashion Police before the Grammys. Like, I did nothing…I kind of shut down. and, you know, went into my shell and thinking about Whitney.”

Williams and Houston had been long-time rivals ever since their notorious radio interview in 2003, when she had interrogated the R&B singer over her alleged drug abuse. Houston told Williams, “If this were back in the day in Newark, I’d meet you outside.”